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There’s no shame in wanting to indulge in a bit of anal play; it can be incredibly enjoyable. Here you’ll find practical tips for anal beginners looking for advice on how to use a butt plug for the first time safely and comfortably.
Firstly: Why Would I Use a Butt Plug?
Well, basically they can feel really good. The muscles in your butt are filled with nerve endings which just love to be stimulated. Male or female, wearing a butt plug during sex can enhance your orgasm as it puts pressure on your prostate or g-spot.
They’re a bit of fun for BDSM play, and they’re good for training, stretching and relaxing the butt so it can take larger things such as a penis more readily.
Choosing the Right Butt Plug for Beginners
Many beginners like the look of butt plugs with pretty jewels etc on them, some love the idea of a tail butt plug, but there’s a lot more to picking the perfect butt plug for your first time than what it looks like.
Check out our butt plug guide for more information on the different types of butt plugs and anal toys.
Best butt plug size for beginners
For your first butt plug experience, look for:
- diameter 1–1.25 inches
- tapered tip
- flexible silicone
- flared base
Avoid very long or heavy plugs until you’re comfortable.
Butt Plug Safety Rules
Make sure it has a flared base
Unlike the vagina, if something goes up your anus, you’re not going to get it back without a fight (or a trip to A&E). I promise you that nothing – NOTHING – equals the panic that sets in when a butt plug goes missing.
The safest butt plugs for a beginners’ first time and beyond are those with large, flared bases that aren’t flimsy. Little silicone butt plugs with round jewelled ends might look pretty, but if you’re on the receiving end of a pounding then it’s not inconceivable that it could disappear. ASK ME HOW I KNOW. That purple one above with the plastic gem on the end? Yep, I’ve fished it out of my butt. It’s a huge DON’T BUY from me.
Nowadays, we only use butt plugs with t-bar ends like the Lovehoney Butt Tingler, the LELO Surfer 2 or the anal hook (pictured below) which definitely won’t be disappearing any time soon (NB we superglued that head on. No chances taken here!).
Start off small for your first time
If you’re an anal play virgin thinking about your first time butt plug use, then you’ll definitely want to start off on the smaller end of the butt plug spectrum. The idea is that it shouldn’t hurt – at all. Repeat after me: It’s meant to be fun, don’t hurt your bum.
Even butt plug pros start off small, and then go bigger as they dilate.
If you’re not sure, you can always buy what I fondly refer to as a ‘selection pack‘ of butt plugs which are perfect for beginners, as you can then select from a range of sizes. They’re pretty cheap too.
If you want to add a little something extra to proceedings, a vibrating butt plug for beginners like the Smile Makers Neighbour (RRP £34.99) is a great starting place. With a 1.2 inch diameter it’s designed to be easy to insert.
Get a butt plug made from safe materials
AKA don’t put dangerous chemicals or porous materials inside you. That means no buying cheap anal toys from random Chinese websites, or off Ebay or Amazon unless they’re certified body safe.
We have written about the best materials for sex toys but essentially when picking butt plugs, you want to make sure they’re made from body safe silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Bonus points because they’re all really easy to clean.
For anal play beginners, I would suggest silicone butt plugs for first time butt plug use; they’re cheap, and have a bit of flexibility. They’re not likely to be really cold, either. However once you know what you can take and what you enjoy, glass and stainless steel butt plugs can offer different sensations and feelings.
Use LOTS of lube
Your butt is not self lubricating like the vagina, and if you don’t use lube, you will get hurt. Lube is your best friend; do not even THINK about sticking something in your butt without it, do you hear me?
Particularly for butt plug beginners, you’re going to want to go heavy on the lube.
Make sure that if you’re using a silicone butt plug that you use water based lubricant, and never silicone based! The two are not friends. You can buy Lovehoney lube from Lovehoney and from Amazon.
Common First Time Butt Plug Mistakes
Most beginner discomfort when using butt plugs comes from one of these simple mistakes.
- Not using enough lubricant
- Choosing a plug that’s too large
- Rushing insertion instead of relaxing
- Using a toy without a flared base
Using Your Butt Plug for the First Time
OK, so you’ve settled on your goldilocks of butt plugs, your cheeks are spread and you’re ready to go.
Here are a few tips for the first time.
Go to the loo and have a good wash
If you can, empty your bowels properly before you get down to business. This will help reassure you when you feel like you want to poop – because a lot of the same muscles get stimulated.
It’s only really polite if someone else is going near your butthole to make sure the area is clean and ready for servicing.
If you have healthy poos, then you probably don’t need to douche; your poo stays out of the way before it’s ready to come out. It’s not healthy to douche too often as it does away with the protective lining in your rectum and can lead to infection. If it makes you happier, particularly when indulging in anal play for the first time, then of course that’s your prerogative but don’t do it more than once or twice a week.
Relax
OK yes, you’ve got something going up your butt for the first time, but it’s meant to be pleasurable and fun and it definitely won’t be if you clench your muscles. Have a glass of wine if that helps you relax (but just the one!), breathe deeply and steadily, and if you’re feeling tense, just come back to it another day.
Go gently into that good night
When you put your butt plug in for the first time, do it slowly, and gently, and stop if you feel any pain. Your reference point for first time butt plug use or anal sex might well be porn where they shove it and are instantly in ecstasy, but you KNOW that’s not the case. There will have been a lot of prep work first.
Do it yourself before you let your partner have a go, so you can get a bit more confident about what you can take and what you enjoy. And use LOTS of lube.
Removing a butt plug safely
You can pull it out – GENTLY – or you can go to the loo, squat, and push it out like you’re having a poop. Personally, I prefer to do this without an audience, but you do you, honey.
What If There’s Poop During Anal Play?
Deal with it, basically. If you (or your partner) are not ready to face the occasional poop smear, then you’re probably not ready for anal play. Have wipes handy, and sterilise the butt plug thoroughly afterwards.
Pain?
If you experience pain, stop immediately and remove the plug. Whether you’re a beginner or a pro, butt plug use shouldn’t hurt. If you have bleeding, or suffer from discomfort and these don’t disappear quickly, then it’s best to go to your doctor.
I Want More!
If you enjoy the sensation of a butt plug, the next step is often vibrating butt plugs or prostate massagers.
You can read our reviews of:
- Lovehoney Butt Tingler
- Rocks Off Cocktail Dual Stimulation Butt Plug
- LELO Surfer 2 Vibrating Butt Plug
- Best prostate massagers for beginners
FAQ: First Time Butt Plug Use
Does using a butt plug hurt?
No. If it hurts, stop. With enough lubricant and the right size plug, anal play should feel comfortable and pleasurable.
What size butt plug should beginners use?
Beginners should start with plugs around 1 inch in diameter or smaller.
How long can you wear a butt plug?
Beginners should start with 10–20 minutes and gradually increase as they become comfortable.
Can men use butt plugs?
Yes. Many men enjoy butt plugs because they stimulate the prostate, which can intensify orgasms.
Do you always need lube for butt plugs?
Yes. The anus does not self-lubricate, so lubricant is essential.
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