Contains affiliate links. If you’ve been born male, then as well as having better job prospects and a higher probability of appearing on TV comedy panel shows, the chances are you’ll also have a prostate. This walnut-sized gland sits between the penis and the bladder and produces the fluid that makes up a large part of semen.
It also happens to be an extremely sensitive pleasure zone. Stimulating the prostate, often called prostate play, can produce intense sensations and sometimes very powerful orgasms. If you’re wondering what prostate play is and how a prostate massager works, read on.
What Is Prostate Play?
Prostate play simply means stimulating the prostate gland for sexual pleasure.
As you can see on the diagram above, where the prostate sits means that the easiest way to access it is via your rectum, aka up your bum.
The simplest way to do so would be to put a well-manicured and sufficiently lubed-up finger up there (or ask a close friend, work colleague or friendly door-to-door salesperson to do it for you), then apply pressure forwards until you feel a tingling feeling; I’d liken it to a mildly electric sensation.
Why exactly putting pressure on the prostate gland feels good is anyone’s guess. Personally I think it’s because God hates homophobes, but either way it would be a shame to not take advantage of a source of pleasure, and to try to balance out all the fun that clitoris havers are lucky enough to enjoy.
How To Find The Prostate
The prostate sits around 2–3 inches inside the rectum, on the front wall (towards the stomach). If you insert a lubricated finger and curl it gently forward in a “come here” motion, you may feel a slightly firmer, walnut-sized area.
That’s the prostate.
Not everyone finds it immediately, and that’s completely normal. Relaxation, arousal and patience make a huge difference. If you’re tense, it will feel uncomfortable rather than pleasurable.
Beginner Tips for Prostate Play
If you’re new to prostate stimulation, go slowly and keep expectations realistic.
- Use plenty of water-based lube. More than you think you need.
- Start with a finger or a slim beginner prostate massager.
- Focus on arousal first. Prostate play feels better when you’re already turned on.
- Don’t worry if you lose your erection. That’s common and completely normal.
- Stop immediately if you feel sharp pain. Discomfort can happen at first, but pain is a sign to pause.
Top Tip: Get a Prostate Massager
With that in mind, a few years ago I decided to treat myself to a couple of prostate focused toys – the Mantric vibrating remote controlled prostate massager and a basic manual prostate massager.
Since then I’ve also tried one with a more pronounced bend in the shaft (the Lovehoney Ignite), the versatile Rocks Off Adapt and the intense Bed Nerdz Bodhi.
Plenty of people get a lot of joy from the feeling a standard butt plug gives, but these prostate massagers these prostate massagers are particularly shaped to apply pressure directly to the prostate. If you’re curious where to start, you can read my full Mantric prostate massager review here.
Prostate Massager vs Butt Plug – What’s the Difference?
A standard butt plug is designed to create a feeling of fullness. While some plugs can press against the prostate, they aren’t always shaped specifically for P-spot stimulation.
A prostate massager, on the other hand, has a curved shaft designed to press directly against the prostate gland. Many also include vibrations or perineum stimulation for added intensity.
If your goal is targeted prostate pleasure, a dedicated prostate massager will usually give better results than a straight plug.
Read our guide to the different types of anal toys.
Can Prostate Play Make You Cum?
I’ve read reports of people having mind blowing orgasms from prostate stimulation alone (called, predictably, ‘prostate orgasms’), and while I’ve not achieved that, I’ve definitely experienced some very strong orgasms when combining a prostate massager with masturbation or sex.
It’s also interesting to note that prostate play/massage doesn’t seem to help me keep an erection even when it’s feeling great. I don’t believe I’m alone in this – so if this happens to you, don’t be put off and just enjoy whatever is making you feel good.
There’s no right or wrong experience. If it feels good, you’re doing it correctly.
I’ve not tried receiving anal sex or pegging, but I understand the prostate is a huge factor in the pleasure people can feel in such a situation.
Like all things – sexual and otherwise, everyone is different, and what one person loves another may be deeply uncomfortable with.
Is Prostate Play Safe?
Prostate play is safe when done correctly.
- Always use toys with a flared base.
- Never force insertion.
- Use lubricant every time.
- Clean toys thoroughly after use.
If you’re completely new to anal play, read our guide to first time butt plug use before experimenting.
Try Some Prostate Play Today!
Whatever your initial thoughts on it, I’d implore you not to neglect such a sensitive body part; instead be bold and experiment with a finger or a prostate massager, and you probably won’t look back.
Prostate Play FAQs
Is prostate play safe?
Yes, as long as you go slowly, use plenty of water-based lubricant and choose toys designed for anal use with a flared base.
Can prostate play cause orgasm?
Some people experience what’s known as a prostate orgasm, although many people enjoy combining prostate stimulation with masturbation or sex.
Do you need a prostate massager?
No. Beginners often start with a finger, but a curved prostate massager is designed specifically to reach the prostate more easily, and target vibrations at the right spot.
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