This guide to the best sex toys for beginners is primarily aimed towards newbies wanting to dip their toes into the world of adult toys. If that’s you, hello! You’re very welcome.
There is no denying that sex toys are a very overwhelming topic to research. There are literally hundreds of options for sex toys in the UK and even more beyond, with wildly varying prices from under £20 to hundreds of pounds, and way more features than you asked for or would ever use.
The good news is that you don’t need anything complicated or expensive to get started. The best sex first toys for beginners are simple, body-safe, easy to control, and designed to help you learn what you enjoy without feeling intimidated.
Whether you’re just entering your first relationship, are wanting to spice an old one up, or you want to make masturbation more exciting, this is a great place to start.
Just Want a Simple Recommendation?
If you don’t want to spend three hours researching vibrators, or even reading the rest of this article, here are my personal beginner-friendly picks. And don’t forget, you can get 20% off at Lovehoney UK and Lovehoney US using the code SEXTOYREVIEW20.
Category | Toy & link to full review | Why is it good for newbies? | Where to buy |
Best beginner vibrator | Something from the Smile Makers Collection or Knude Society | Both companies make beautifully crafted silicone toys with beginners in mind | |
Best beginner dildo | Relatively small, body safe silicone | ||
Best beginner clitoral stimulator | Soft, squishy, easy to use & works! | £99 full price, 10% off with WHINGEWINE Buy the Biird Namii 2 | |
Best beginner rabbit vibrator | Slimline design, unintimidating | ||
Best beginner couple’s toy | Wild Weekend kit from Lovehoney | Can work out what you do and don’t like for a low price | |
Best beginner butt plug | Small, simple vibrating plug | £35 Buy it here | |
Best beginner male masturbator | Easy to use, budget friendly |
Who Are Sex Toys For?
Sex toys are for every adult that wants them!
Whether you identify as male, female or non binary, there are sex toys that you can enjoy using and can help you to feel good.
On this site, we’re a cisgender, heterosexual couple in our 30s so naturally the sex toys we buy and subsequently review tend to be quite heavily gendered towards the vagina/clitoris or penis/prostate. However, whatever you’re looking for, there will be a website out there with suggestions for sex toys that suit you even if it isn’t this one.
Who Is This Guide For?
A lot of people (who’ve seen Sex and the City too many times maybe) have the notion that sex toys are only for single people, particularly women. Of course, it’s true that sex toys can enhance masturbation and keep you experiencing regular orgasms without a partner and we have a whole list of the best sex toys for women. However, it’s also true that people that bring sex toys into the beds they share with their partners do report that they enjoy better sex and stronger relationships.
It can be hard to make that first step – particularly after years of having sex toy-less sex – but the rewards when you do can be mind-blowing!
To kick off this newbie’s sex toys guide, let’s learn a little bit about the types of sex toys you can buy.
What Types Of Beginner Sex Toys Are There?
With the sheer amount of sex toys available, it’s not surprising you need a guide to the best beginner sex toys to help navigate it; it can be almost panic-inducing. So many sex toys, so little time. Or money.
Here are the main types of sex toys you can buy.
Dildos
Dildos date back forever – I’m talking 30,000 years!
Basically dildos are replica penises (although they don’t always have to look like a penis) which go into the vagina to provide the feeling of penetration. If they’ve got a flared base and you have a good lube, they can be used anally too.
They can be made from any material as long as they’re body safe, but most commonly you’ll find dildos nowadays are made from silicone, which is flexible and soft, or glass.
Best dildos for beginners: Go for something relatively small and flexible. Unless you’re a size queen, you should not have to breathe through it! The average length of a human penis is 5-6 inches, so you don’t need a 12-inch monster dong dildo. A 5.5-6 inch dildo is a great place to start.
If you don’t like the look of fleshy, veiny schlongs you can pick out something pretty and colourful instead! Some dildos are works of art, like the Biird Elements collection.
You can read more about the different types of dildos in this round up post of the best dildos.
Vibrators
Something they definitely didn’t have 30,000 years ago is the vibrator or vibe. Poor them.
Vibrators run on electricity and can be battery or mains powered. Containing a motor, the vibrator does exactly what it says on the tin and vibrates, giving a pleasurable sensation either internally or externally.
External Vibrators
Bullet Vibrators are the most basic external vibrators. Usually quite cheap and can run by a standard AA battery or two inside the ‘shaft’ which you have to replace when it runs out, or more frequently rechargeable. Shaped like a large bullet – hence the name – bullet vibes don’t tend to be very powerful; having tried one or two I can’t say they’re my personal favourite, however they are very discreet and portable.
As an alternative, clitoral vibrators now come in all shapes and sizes, with many rechargeable models on the market. There are some really cute and squishy ones which are unintimidating for newbies, and then there are ones that you can even use hands free. Some of these pack a powerful punch despite their size.
Wand Vibrators on the other hand… Well, they’re a different thing altogether.
They’re the most powerful type of vibe, and you can use them anywhere externally but they do the Lord’s work if you apply them to your clit – especially during penetration. You can get mains powered wands or rechargeable wands and there are even a load of attachments for them available.
Like everything, they differ in quality (and power!), so be sure to read reviews before you buy because they’re quite an expensive purchase and you don’t want to get it wrong! You can see a round up of the best magic wands you can buy, tried and tested by us!.
Internal Vibrators
Internal vibrators are designed to stimulate the G-Spot in the vagina, or the prostate (these are called prostate massagers) depending on which anatomy you’re blessed with.
You can get all sorts of internal vibrators, including ones with remote controls, and ones you can even wear/use during sex.
Rabbit vibrators, or dual stimulators, add together the sensations of both an internal vaginal and external clitoral vibrator and deliver what’s called a ‘blended orgasm’. They’re very popular and rightly so. The newer models like the We-Vibe Nova 2 do a great job; they’re quiet, unintimidating, and they’re perfect for solo play or mutual masturbation.
If that looks a bit larger than you’d ideally like, the Svakom CiCi+ 2 slimline heated rabbit is small but powerful.
Suction Stimulators/Clit Suckers
Fairly new to the sex toy arena are clitoral suction stimulators or air pulse toys. They’re perfect for beginners who may not feel comfortable with penetration as they work externally. Clitoral suction toys use little air pulses to produce extremely quick – and intense – clitoral orgasms. The Satisfyer Pro 2 was the first clitoral sucker that I was aware of and it’s still one of my favourites.
However, if you have a little more to spend, I always recommend the Biird Namii 2 as the best clitoral suction toy for beginners. It’s cute, it’s squishy, it’s super simple to use.
You can read more about clitoral stimulators here and find my round up of best clit suckers here.
If you’re torn between suction and vibration, I’ve broken down exactly how they feel here.
If you want both, you can get toys that combine clitoral suction and g-spot vibration too.
Butt Plugs
Butt-plugs, which can come in many shapes and sizes, are for anal play. Suitable for anyone of any gender, using plenty of lube, you pop them into your bum to feel the ‘full’ sensation that many people really enjoy.
Some of them even vibrate for added sensations, and you can get ones like The Cocktail which combine anal and g-spot vibrations.
If you looking to start out, check out this post for anal play beginners. If you’re looking for something simple, a set like these colourful butt plugs gives you a range of sizes to see what works for you, or if you want a vibrating plug, something like the Smile Makers Neighbour is small and unintimidating enough to be a good first purchase.
Male Masturbators
Male masturbators – which are commonly known by the brand name ‘Fleshlight‘ – are designed to mimic penetration and make solo play or mutual masturbation more pleasurable for those with a penis.
There’s quite a variety – from the single use Tenga Eggs to reusable manual masturbators to mains powered machinery – all promising to deliver different sensations.
Cock Rings
Cock rings are most commonly used to help a man keep an erection. Put around the base of the penis, or even below the balls, the cock ring slows the blood flow out of an erect penis so it’s harder and lasts longer.
Vibrating cock rings, however, are designed for clitoral stimulation during sex and are a great addition to a couple’s sex life.
BDSM Equipment
These kinds of sex toys are a little bit more specialist.
Including everything from ball gags to restraints, read our post on BDSM equipment suitable for interested newbies and where to buy BDSM furniture in the UK.
Introducing Sex Toys Into a Relationship
If you’ve never used sex toys with a partner before, bringing one into the bedroom can feel weirdly intimidating. Not because it’s actually a big deal, but because society has somehow convinced everyone that suggesting a vibrator is roughly equivalent to announcing the relationship is collapsing. Be assured that a LOT of couples use sex toys; it really isn’t anything to be embarrassed about.
The important thing to remember is that sex toys are not replacement genitals. Nobody is being made redundant by a rechargeable silicone object. Toys are just tools that can add different sensations, reduce pressure, make orgasms easier, or simply make sex feel more playful and less like everyone’s trying to perform Olympic-level intercourse.
For beginners, the best approach is usually to start small and low-pressure rather than immediately buying something that looks like it powers a small submarine.
One way to introduce sex toys into a relationship is to buy a kit like the one from Lovehoney which we tried here; it’s a relatively low-cost way to introduce the idea of toys without putting too much pressure on. You can pass it off as a fun gift if you feel awkward, spend the weekend finding out what does and doesn’t work for you, and have fun doing it.
There are also collections of sex toys like which are designed specifically to be beginner-friendly.
Smile Makers make soft pastel-coloured toys look more like an aesthetic skincare routine than anything intimidating.
Knude Society are also a women-owned company which make beginner-friendly, waterproof, silicone toys.
If you’d prefer to dive right in, here are some things you’ll want to consider when buying your first sex toy.
How to Choose Your First Sex Toy
Who Is The Sex Toy For?
Firstly, who is it for? Of course presumably it’s you, and not your grandad, but what I mean is, is it a toy for you to use during solo play, or is it something to use as a couple?
If it’s for use with a partner, discuss it with them! There are loads of couple’s toys which are very popular and versatile; they can often be used with a partner or without.
What do You Want it to Do?
Think about what turns you on, and the sensations you enjoy during masturbation or sex. An all-purpose vibrator is always a good solid first sex toy for personal use and in a couple.
If you’re a woman and you find that penetration alone doesn’t bring you to climax, which is the case for most of us, a clitoral stimulator might be the way to go.
If you’re a man and you want to enhance masturbation, a masturbator like a fleshlight might be a good choice. Or perhaps explore how prostate play can make your orgasms more intense by opting for a prostate massager. Or, get one of each and see what you like best!
Find a Reputable Retailer Online
Read reviews of the brands, websites and toys. There are lots of different websites out there catering to the sex toys market but not all of them are legitimate which is why it’s helpful to guide your search.
Buying cheap sex toys online can be a gamble; read this guide to spotting fakes and this guide to choosing a reputable online retailer for tips.
Using well known established retailers such as Lovehoney, Bondara and Sextoys.co.uk means you’re less likely to end up with unsafe or crappy sex toys (or, none altogether).
Check It’s Body Safe
Before you buy anything, do make sure that it is made from a material which is body safe, non porous and won’t leach dangerous chemicals. You can read more about this in our sex toys material guide.
Above all, have fun. The whole point of sex toys is to make you feel good, so don’t stress about it. Don’t spend more than you can afford, and enjoy exploring this new world.
Sex Toys For Beginners FAQs
The best sex toy for beginners is usually something simple, body-safe, easy to control and not too intimidating. A small external vibrator, bullet vibrator, clitoral suction toy, beginner dildo or simple couples kit can all be good first choices depending on what kind of stimulation you enjoy.
If you’re not sure what to buy first, start with something versatile. For many people, that means a small vibrator that can be used externally, during foreplay, during sex or for solo play. If you know you prefer penetration, a small silicone dildo or internal vibrator may be a better first sex toy.
Yes, sex toys are safe to use as long as you buy from a reputable retailer, choose body-safe materials, clean them properly and use them as intended. Look for non-porous materials such as medical-grade silicone, glass or stainless steel, and avoid anything that smells strongly of chemicals or feels sticky.
No. You do not need to spend hundreds of pounds on your first sex toy. There are plenty of beginner-friendly sex toys available for under £30-£50. It’s better to start with something simple and well-reviewed than spend loads on a complicated toy with sixteen settings you’ll never use.
Yes, couples can absolutely use sex toys together. A vibrator, cock ring, wand, remote-control toy or couples kit can add new sensations and make sex feel more playful. Sex toys are not a replacement for a partner; they’re just another way to explore what feels good together.
The easiest way to introduce sex toys into a relationship is to keep it low-pressure. Talk about it outside the bedroom first, suggest it as something fun to try together, and start with a simple beginner-friendly toy or couples kit. It doesn’t need to be a Big Serious Sex Meeting, unless you enjoy making everything sound like HR.
Some sex toys are noisy, but many modern rechargeable toys are surprisingly quiet. You can find a good round up of quiet sex toys here. Small vibrators, clitoral stimulators and quality silicone toys are usually discreet enough for most homes. Wand vibrators and cheaper battery-powered toys tend to be louder, so it’s worth reading reviews if noise is a concern.
Yes, lube is usually a very good idea. Water-based lube is the safest all-round choice because it works with most sex toys, including silicone toys and condoms. Lube can make sex toys feel more comfortable, more pleasurable and significantly less like you are trying to insert something into a reluctant envelope.
Most sex toys can be cleaned with warm water and mild soap, or a dedicated sex toy cleaner. Always check the manufacturer’s instructions, especially if the toy has a motor or charging port. Make sure toys are completely dry before storing them, and keep them somewhere clean rather than loose in a drawer collecting mysterious fluff.
Only use a sex toy anally if it has a proper flared base. This is non-negotiable, because the bum is not a storage facility and toys without a base can get stuck. Use plenty of anal-safe lube, start small, go slowly, and never move a toy from anal use to vaginal use without cleaning it thoroughly first. Read our guide to First Time Butt Plug Use.
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