So You Want to Be a Sex Toy Blogger? Here’s How To Do It

A sex toy blogger, in case the name didn’t give it away, is someone who tests, reviews, and writes about sex toys and related paraphernalia. If that sounds like your dream job – or at least a far more entertaining hobby than doomscrolling or arguing with strangers on Facebook – then great news: absolutely anyone can become one.

But before you go filling your online basket with more silicone than a Love Island reunion episode, here’s what you need to know.

Get Your Writing Game Sorted

First things first: you actually have to write. You don’t need to be the next Margaret Atwood, but you do need to string sentences together in a way that isn’t painful. Blogging is basically telling a story people want to read. If you failed English and hate having to sit at your keyboard for hours, blogging probably isn’t for you.

If you’re rusty, practise. Take a course. Journal. Write about something else first. And yes, AI exists, but nobody wants to read a review that sounds like it was written by a malfunctioning fridge. Sex toy content needs actual you in it. Fnar.

Know Your Stuff

If you’re considering becoming a sex toy blogger, chances are you’ve spent a bit of time browsing the ‘special interest’ corners of the internet already. Great. Now it’s time to do it with purpose.

Learn the difference between your rabbit, your wand, your butt plug, and your ‘I’m sorry… it does WHAT?’ gadgets. Know what makes a body safe toy so you don’t recommend something dangerous. Read content from other bloggers. See what’s trending. Immerse yourself in the wonderfully weird world of adult products.

Find out about the world of sex toy retail; this post about the different types might be a useful start.

Basically, consider it homework, but fun.

Pick a Niche

There are so many types of sex toys that trying to cover everything from bondage gear to squirting vibrators to latex couture is… ambitious. Pick an area you genuinely care about; or at least one you’re comfortable explaining to your mother if she inevitably finds your blog.

A niche helps readers know what to expect, and it positions you as someone who knows their stuff rather than someone frantically paddling across 67 categories.

Build Your Platform

Ok so being serious now, you need somewhere to post your content. Social media is fine and dandy but you don’t own it and it’s hard to earn from reliably, whereas with a blog you can write a post and it sits there forever, potentially making money without you lifting a finger. Potentially.

Most bloggers use WordPress because it looks professional and doesn’t require you to sell a kidney to set up. You’ll need a small upfront investment – domain, hosting, that sort of thing – but it’s crucial if you want to be taken seriously.

You can use social media too. Instagram, TikTok, Threads, Twitter, Reddit… just bear in mind that half these platforms ban anything saucier than a peeled banana, so tread carefully.

Learn About SEO

Ugh, I know. Technical stuff. It isn’t just people that you need to please, but also search engines – primarily Google. For people to actually read your posts, they need to be directed to your stuff so you need to make sure that what you write is relevant and that your content is being found.

I’m not here to teach you how to do that, but it’s an easy Google search (and if they are top of Google then they probably know what they’re doing). You’ll need to find out about keyword research, content clusters, internal linking and other SEO best practice. Without this, your website is likely to sit there with no one visiting, and that would be a shame.

Make Friends and Contacts

This industry is surprisingly friendly. Bloggers, reviewers, PRs, and brands often talk to each other. Engage. Comment. Email. Don’t be weird.

If you’re feeling extra committed, you can even go to trade shows – basically Comic-Con but with a lot more silicone and less Spiderman.

These connections help you learn what’s new, what’s good, and eventually, what you can get sent for free.

Actually Create Content

Here’s the crucial bit: you’ve got to fill your blog with posts before brands take you seriously.

Start by reviewing toys you already own. Be honest. Be helpful. Tell people what they actually want to know (“Is it loud?”, “Does it attract hair?”, “Do I need a degree in engineering to change the settings?”, “Will it randomly turn off about 3 seconds before I cum and ruin my night?”).

Make sure the reviews are useful, readable, and findable. When you’ve built up a little content and a trickle of traffic from search engines – which could take several months to a year – then you can reach out to brands and ask politely for review items.

Promote the Hell Out of It

Google is a fickle beast, so don’t rely solely on SEO. Share your posts on social media. Join relevant groups (WITHOUT SPAMMING). Engage with other bloggers. Post consistently.

Just please, for the love of all things holy and battery-powered, don’t message strangers begging them to promote your blog.

Make Some Money (Ethically, Preferably)

A lot of sex toy bloggers earn money – some quite a lot – through affiliate links, sponsored posts, and advertising. The key is trust. If you recommend everything under the sun just because it’s free, your audience will see straight through you.

To get to the point where you can make money, you need to have built up your site and content, and be getting reliable traffic. So don’t think it’ll happen over night; unless you are putting full-time hours in then it could easily be years before you turn a profit on a hobby blog.

Although the promise of free stuff is always nice, it’s important to have standards and not just accept any old thing. Look into companies who approach you, and work with brands whose products you’d actually use, or at least won’t leave your readers traumatised.

Stay Informed

Although there is no denying that you’d have to go some to beat the old favourites, new toys come out constantly. New materials. New tech. New innovations. Keep up with it.

Follow bloggers. Read industry news. Stay curious. Stay open-minded. Never be the person who reviews a suction toy in 2017 and writes, “This is just a vibrator with a hole in it.” No, Sharon. No it isn’t.

And Finally… Have Fun With It

This shouldn’t feel like homework, not to begin with at least. It should feel like a hobby that occasionally pays you and occasionally makes you blush in the Post Office queue when you’re collecting parcels with suspicious rattling noises.

Being a sex toy blogger takes time and effort, but it’s a surprisingly supportive corner of the internet. And who knows, you might end up with a successful blog, a loyal audience, and a drawer full of silicone treasures you could probably use to start your own museum one day.