Orgasms are free, they’re healthy, they’re fun and we should all be having more of them. However women in general are missing out. The orgasm gap is the term used to describe the fact that, on average, heterosexual women experience significantly fewer orgasms than men.
Which, frankly, feels like a design flaw in society rather than biology. Women’s bodies are capable of multiple orgasms, extended pleasure, and a much wider range of stimulation. And yet… here we are.
In a well-known study, 91% of heterosexual men said they usually or always orgasmed during sex compared to just 39% of heterosexual women. Interestingly, lesbian women reported significantly higher orgasm rates, which suggests this isn’t about ability — it’s about approach.
Closing the Orgasm Gap
The biggest factor? Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. We’re talking the vast majority here. Penetration alone works for a small percentage of women (often quoted as under 10%), which means that if sex is focused purely on penetration, a lot of women are being set up to fail from the start.
And it’s not just about if there’s stimulation; it’s about how. The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings (and extends internally far beyond what you can see), so different types of touch, pressure, rhythm, and vibration can all produce very different experiences.
That’s where things like blended orgasms come in. This is when clitoral stimulation is combined with internal stimulation (from penetration or toys), creating a more intense, layered orgasm. For many women, this is where things go from that was nice to right, I need a minute to recover.
Types of Orgasms Women Can Experience
- Clitoral orgasms: the most common and reliable
- G-spot orgasms: deeper, internal stimulation
- Blended orgasms: a combination of both (often the strongest)
- Multiple orgasms: possible because women don’t have the same refractory period as men
Who is to Blame?
It isn’t all men’s fault, before anyone gets defensive.
No one is a mind reader. But there is definitely a pattern where women don’t give feedback, either because they don’t want to knock someone’s confidence or they assume this is just how it is. Meanwhile, their partner carries on doing the exact same thing forever. It’s not malicious, it’s just… inefficient.
Let’s Fix the Orgasm Gap
One of the easiest and most effective ways to close the orgasm gap is to bring sex toys into the mix.
Sex toys still have a weird reputation in some relationships. Some people see them as competition, or as some kind of performance review in silicone form. But realistically, unless your partner has built-in vibration settings and a perfectly consistent rhythm, toys are just tools that make good sex even better.
Clitoral stimulators, wand vibrators, and dual stimulation toys are particularly effective because they focus on what actually works for most women. They can also make it much easier to explore different types of orgasms, including those elusive blended ones.
More importantly, they take the pressure off. When the goal shifts from “performing” to “exploring what feels good,” everything improves; communication, confidence, and, unsurprisingly, the number of orgasms happening.
Normalising women’s pleasure isn’t complicated. When women have better sex, they want more of it. Everyone wins. The whole aim of this sex toy blog is to make that easier, whether that’s through honest reviews, comparisons, or just giving you a starting point for figuring out what actually works for your body.
From small and discreet to big and unapologetically powerful, there’s something out there that can help close the gap. You just have to be willing to try it.
Read our Best Sex Toys for Women Guide.
Best Sex Toys for Blended Orgasms
If you want to experience a blended orgasm, the key is combining internal and clitoral stimulation at the same time. These toys are specifically designed to do exactly that, taking a lot of the guesswork (and wrist cramp) out of the equation.
Toy | Type | Best For | Why It Works | Our Verdict |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Rabbit Vibrator | Reliable blended orgasms | Flexible arm keeps constant clitoral contact during penetration | Best overall for consistency | |
Couples Vibrator | Use during partnered sex | Designed to be worn internally while stimulating the clit | Best for hands-free play | |
Dual Stimulator with Clitoral Suction | Deep, intense orgasms | Combines clitoral stimulation with internal vibration | Sub £100 option | |
Air Pulse + Internal | Clit-focused users | Air pulse tech adds a different sensation to standard vibration | Great budget option | |
Classic Rabbit | Beginners | Simple, effective dual stimulation without overcomplication | Affordable entry point |
If you already know that clitoral stimulation is non-negotiable for you, these types of toys are an absolute game changer. They’re designed to hit both areas at once, which is exactly what most women need to get from this is nice… to ooooh there it is.
Related posts:
